This is the only picture we have of her the day she was born. From the moment we found out about the TEF, I couldn't even think straight, so overwhelmed with fear and grief. I had no idea what the doctors in Madera were going to say about her condition. I will never forget that two hour car ride to Madera, sobbing and virtually shaking with fear the whole way.
Steve and I upon finding out that the surgery went well and she had one of the least severe cases. I'll never forget this moment either, it was our first sign of hope.
The weeks to follow were filled with ups and downs. The nurses warned me of that, but it just isn't something you can wrap your head around. Although the surgery was successful, she was not eating well at all.
This is where Steve and I lived for those three weeks, right at her bedside. There were two times of day when visitors weren't allowed due to shift changes and that was pretty much the only time one of us wasn't there. I felt so helpless, my first time being a mom and having no idea what to do for my baby.
After the three most terrifying weeks of our lives, this is us on the day we were taking her home. She finally started eating almost the amount the doctors required (just before they were about to schedule another surgery to insert a stomach tube). Which is why it wasn't until literally the last few days that I could even somewhat relax about things.
I remember that I just sobbed the second we got home. When our lives are going well, three weeks flies by. But that time in the hospital with Katelyn truly felt like years. We had one more trip back up to Madera three weeks later when she refused to eat after choking on her milk. From then on, it was just routine checkups and esophagrams.
I can't imagine life without my Katelyn, but I can imagine what it feels like to come that close. I know that every day I have with her is one to be cherished. When I look at her now, on her two year birthday, I just wish I could have seen this glimpse into the future during those days in Madera. To see her bubbly little self bouncing around the house, singing every song she knows, bossing the dog around, hugging her little brother. I am one lucky mama.
Happy Birthday my sweet Katelyn!
